Life Has Changed…I Wanted You to Know
As Salaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullah My Dear Sisters,
I’ve been away from the inbox for a little while, and today, I want to speak to you not as a brand owner or business, but as your sister — one who has just experienced the heaviest kind of loss.
A few weeks ago, my beloved mother, Janice Whitfield, returned to Allah after a long illness. She took her shahada in 2024 — a moment I will forever cherish. I ask that you please make du’a for her: that Allah (SWT) forgives her, accepts her, and grants her ease and light in her grave. Ameen.
My mother raised me and my two brothers on her own after my father passed away when I was just 12 years old. We didn’t grow up with much, we were not wealthy, nor did we live in luxury — but we were raised with love, and that love shaped me and gave me the values I carry today.
My mom always told me that she had prayed for a daughter, and when she had me, she was overjoyed. That memory has always made me smile.
When she became sick, she was repeatedly denied round-the-clock care even though she was completely bed bound. I could not bring myself to put her in a nursing home as I have witnessed the abuses that take place in nursing homes, and I could not live with myself if I did that. I quit my job and took care of her full-time. It was a hard decision, but to me, it wasn’t really a choice. That was my mother.
She lived with me for about 2.5 years. I bathed her, fed her, organized her medications, handled the paperwork, and fought — yes, fought — for proper home care. After a long legal process, we finally got 24-hour homecare. It felt like a small but important mercy in the middle of so much difficulty.
She used to cry and call for me when I wasn’t nearby. And it’s ironic — when I was a child, my aunts used to say no one wanted to babysit me because as soon as she left, I would cry for her. Subhan Allah. The way life circles back.
I was with her the days before she passed, taking her to the ER on Sunday and on Monday, watching the vital signs monitor show her levels drop so low that the nurses and doctors were scrambling frantically. After multiple interventions with adjusting the IV and such, they finally left me in the room and said, “we are going to leave you here with her because your mother is about to die”.
I stood by her bedside watching the monitor drop and drop. I was not afraid, but it felt very strange. I held her hand and rubbed her head. Somehow, the numbers went back up, and her levels went back to normal. I left that night intending to come back the following morning.
She made it through the night, but I got the call just before Fajr on Tuesday morning, September 23rd. The nurse called at 5:25 am and said "I am sorry ma'am, but your mom passed away this morning." I was frozen, but I said, "ok, was she in distress?" The nurse said no, and I can't even remember what else she said. Everything was a blur after that.
I prayed Fajr, then starting calling my family to share the sad news.
Alhamdullilah, I had the blessing of washing and shrouding her myself, alongside a dear friend of mine and her daughter. May Allah reward them both immensely. It was one of the most humbling honors of my life.
I’m sharing all this because I believe in community. I believe in connection. And Al Shams has never been just a storefront — it’s a space I’ve built with real women, real hearts, and real stories. I know many of you have experienced loss, grief, or hardship so you definitely understand.
So right now, I am returning back to my community and just wanted to share this with you; just recalibrating and reconnecting again.
There is a deep emptiness I carry now. But also, a sense of peace. I know that I tried to do the best I could, and Allah is the Most Merciful.
Anas ibn Malik reported that Prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be Upon Him) said…“Verily, the eyes shed tears and the heart is grieved, yet we will not say anything but what is pleasing to our Lord” Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1303
“Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un” - Suratal Baqara 2:156
May He grant us all the ability to serve our parents with ihsaan. May He forgive us, ease every heavy heart and unite us with our loved ones in Jannatul Firdaus. Ameen.
With love and gratitude,
Your Sister, Kim
Founder, Al Shams Abayas
24 comments
Assalamualaikum Sister. I am so sorry for the loss of someone so precious to you and your family. May Allah swr grant her the highest Jannah and grant you and your family the strength and comfort to get through this difficult time. May Allah swt reward you for your good deeds and devotion in taking such good care of your Mother when she needed you most Ameen.
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un. May Allah azza wa jal accept your mother’s prayers and actions, may her grave be spacious and full of light, may she be granted shade on the day when no one will find shade except as Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala wills and may she be granted Jannah! Ameen! May you, dear sister, be comforted and given honor in Jannah by Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala for the care you have provided to your mother when she needed you the most. Ameen!
Innā lillāhi wa innā ilayhi rājiʿūn
May the Almighty Allah grant your mother jannatul firdaus and peace in her grave Ameen. May we reunite with all our loved ones in jannatul firdaus Ameen. Stay strong, Allah Knows best.
As-salaam Alakium..Thanks for sharing your story..so Beautiful..I made du’a for her and may Allah grant her Jannah
Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Rajioon. I’m sorry for your loss. May Allah grant your family comfort and ease during this time may He keep your family firm upon the DEEN of Islam امين
As Salamu Alaykum,
May Allah grant her the highest level of jannah and make her grave spacious and filled with light ameen.
Assalamu Alaiki wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu
innā li-llāhi wa-ʾinnā ʾilayhi rājiʿūn. May Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala forgive your mother’s sins, make her grave peaceful, spacious, and full of light and peace. May Allah have Mercy on her and give you
patience.
Assalamu alaikum,
Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi Rajioon. May Allah forgive your mother and strengthen her. May He have mercy upon her and grant her Jannatul Firdaus, aamiin.
I pray for Allah to comfort your pain for this precious loss and reward you to being such a dutiful daughter, aamiin.
As salaam alaikum, may Allah ta’la make your Umm’s grave spacious & wide; filled with Nur and May she be amongst those who are not being tormented in the grave… Ameen. What a bitter sweet reality to share with us Kim. May Allah ta’la bring you ease as you process this transition. Alhamdulillah she took her shahadah the prior year. Look at Allah’s mercy! May Allah ta’la keep us all close to him & fear not death but fear the state that you’re in Ameen. Keep your head up unless you’re praying
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un
May Allah forgive your mom and shower His mercy upon her and grant her jannah. May Allah make her resting place cool, easy, and comforting for her. May Allah make the grieve easy for her family and loved ones. 🤲🏾
May Allah reward you for all of your efforts and the love you expressed to your mom. May it be the means of jannah for you 🤲🏾
Asalaam Walaikum sister. Inna Lilahi Wa Inna Illahi Rajeoon. I pray that Allah(SAW) give you all patience and comfort your hearts , knowing that she Mashallah embrace Islam just in time to meet with her maker with a clean and pure soul. Although we all will taste death, our devotion to Allah will make it more palatable and welcoming.
Your story was quite touching as I too have a mother whom I wished before her death, she will become Muslim when Allah (SAW) will remove the veil for her🤲🏻
My sincere condolences to you and your family as you grieve and find comfort with each other.💐
As Salaam Alaikum beloved Kim🫂
Thank you for sharing your experience and being a mindful reminder to us all.
Alhamdulilah 🤲🏾. May Allah be pleased with all of mom’s good deeds and grant her a place in Paradise. May he continue to strengthen you and your family as you proceed the painful loss of your Mom, Auntie, Cousin, Sibling and Loved one. Continue to trust the process and feel the pain, it guides you to your healing. Inshaa Allah
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un
May Allah swt grant her maghfirah and highest level in jannatul firdaus. May Allah swt give you & your family patience during this difficult time ameen .
May Allah reward you for being dutiful to your mother and sharing your strength with us you had during your journey with your mother. May Allah swt grant your mother jannatul firdaus al a’ala Ameen! May Allah grant you ease during this!
إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ
اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لَهَا وَارْحَمْهَا وَعَافِهَا وَاعْفُ عَنْهَا
May Allah forgives her sins and grant her Jannatul Firdaus as her resting place. May Allah grant you n family patience at this difficult time. Aamiin
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un. My dear sister I first want to thank you for sharing your heart touching story. I’ll make dua for you and for your mom, Insha’Allah. It’s a blessing to have children and even a bigger blessing to have the opportunity to have a CARING mother, as you mentioned “the way life circles back”, SubhanAllah! I ask that Allah swt give you sabr during this time and accept your good deeds for caring for your beloved mother during her most needed days Ameen
-With Hugs your sister in faith,
Yadah❤️💐
Jazakallahu Khair for share these deep reflections and your innermost thoughts. Cousin, your love, comfort, passion, and compassion for Aunt Janice was beautiful and with prophetic care. May Allah protect Aunt Janice from the tortures of the grave, forgive her sins, grant her light, and grant her Jannatul Firdous. She had a great impact on our lives. She was a magnificently brilliant and giving person. Alhamdulillah, you have inherited so much of that good from your mother. We miss her and yet, as her Muslim family members know, inna lillahee wa inna illayhee rajioon.
Wa Salaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu.
May the blessing of Allah continue to bring you peace my sister. Thank you for sharing your story.
إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون
عظم الله اجركم واحسن الله عزاكم
الله يرحمها ويغفر لها ويسكنها فسيح جناته ويلهمكم الصبر والسلوان اختي كيم 🥲
Inna lillahi wa ina ilayhi rajioon. SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah, your wonderful mother accepted Islam. May Allah forgive her and give her jannatul firdaus. May Allah reunite you all there one day. Please make dua that my family accepts Islam as well. May Allah give you and your family patience, comfort, and peace in your time of grief Ameen <3
This is a very beautiful message. I cried and smiled at the same time while reading and remembering aunt Janice. 🙏🏾
“Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un
I am truly sorry for your loss.
My mother passed away too in April
Nothing & no one can replace the loss of a mom. Still now sometimes I still think shes here. We ask that Allan grant your mom Jannan Al- Firdaus. Aameen … Aameen…
If you don’t mind- I’d like to share this poem I wrote about the loss of mom & I hope it brings some comfort.
Days gone by
The roses are fading🌹
Life and death are trading.
When you lose someone you love
Life becomes some what strange
The ground beneath you becomes fragile,
Your heart has grown heavy
With sadness and pain.
You will soak up every breath you take
As it envelopes your soul,
For the sting of death hurts,
As she journeyed to the end of the road.
She wouldn’t like a gloomed
filled room,
Nor your head bowed low.
She’d say miss me a little,
But you have to move on
And let me go.
This is the first step on the road to home. And your hearts- they will soon become whole.
Letting go of your hand for
the last time,
Brought tears to my eyes,
There isn’t any strength in saying goodbye.
When I go to that lonely roomAnd look at that empty chair, In my mind I know you’re gone, but I wish you were sitting there.
Some days I wake up and forget that you’re gone,
Until the sunrises at dawn.
In hugs that linger & hands that hold tight,
We find strength in sorrow & we find hope in light.
Life will never be the same,
We’ll still be calling her name. For loves gentle presence cannot depart,
It’s wrapped around us
You’ll always be in our heart.
Days gone by
The roses are fading🌹
Life and death are trading.
When you lose someone you love
Life becomes some what strange
The ground beneath you becomes fragile,
Your heart has grown heavy
With sadness and pain.
You will soak up every breath you take
As it envelopes your soul,
For the sting of death hurts,
As she journeyed to the end of the road.
She wouldn’t like a gloomed
filled room,
Nor your head bowed low.
She’d say miss me a little,
But you have to move on
And let me go.
This is the first step on the road to home. And your hearts- they will soon become whole.
Letting go of your hand for
the last time,
Brought tears to my eyes,
There isn’t any strength in saying goodbye.
When I go to that lonely roomAnd look at that empty chair, In my mind I know you’re gone, but I wish you were sitting there.
Some days I wake up and forget that you’re gone,
Until the sunrises at dawn.
In hugs that linger & hands that hold tight,
We find strength in sorrow & we find hope in light.
Life will never be the same,
We’ll still be calling her name. For loves gentle presence cannot depart,
It’s wrapped around us
And you’ll always be in our heart.
Love You Mom
Salam alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh my sister
Hearing and reading this news made my heart melt i am sorry for your loss may Allah SWT forgive our mother and grants her Dianatufirdaws may Allah SWT guide you and your family Amen
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
My dear sister Kim,
So sorry for your irreplaceable loss.
May Allah swt grant your mother jannatul firdaus al a’ala Ameen.
May Allah swt reward you with the best for taking care of your mother as best as you can and for the patience at this very difficult time of your life.
Ameen
I appreciate your email sharing this important turn of your life with us. Thanks for considering us your family, you are in our prayers . 🤲🏼